Purpose?

“What’s the purpose of life?” Some of the biggest and most important questions can never be answered by anyone but oneself. You just have to figure that out for yourself. A few weeks ago, I asked my psychiatrist what the purpose of life was, she simply answered “There isn’t one.” Speaking as a seventeen year old girl, I thought that was a complete letdown. At that time I was at my breaking point, or so I thought. I have been dealing with major depression and anxiety since middle school. It really kills you when you realize you struggle with MDD because you understand that there’s no definite cause of why you’re upset. I’m not talking about the imbalance of brain chemicals, but the triggers which people may face in everyday life. There’s just no actual reason. No deaths, no breakups, no family issues, no drug or alcohol abuse, no PTSD, no nothing. It’s just there. Depression makes you feel guilty as hell most of the time which doesn’t help because then, of course, you start feeling worse. In Lynn, when I was sitting in my psychiatrist’s office I was so unfocused. I was in a daze just staring at the Zoloft advertisement on the desk. I was intrigued by the water droplet that somehow symbolized Zoloft. I just didn’t care. I wanted to feel something; I was numb. I had no sense of hope and I think that’s what I was really looking for when I asked about life’s biggest question. I had been pondering the idea of life’s purpose. Why do we do anything? Why do we go to school? We go to school to get into greater school. College. What’s the point of college? To get a job? One that we will most likely hate. What do we work for? To be able to eat and sleep comfortably? Or is it so we can just live in the same boring routine we all call life? Life is an endless circle. It really is. Everyone wants to be happy whether they admit it or not. Most people with depression often feel comfortable with how they feel. They accept their depression and often use it as a “comfort zone.” People suffering from depression become so used to always feeling down that they feel like its almost the right way to feel. When they do feel “happy” they sometimes wish they didn’t for some unknown reason. Depression is quite difficult to understand. But obviously, deep down everyone wants to be unconditionally happy. They just have to find their reason in order to understand themselves. In order to be unconditionally happy, one must have a reason. A purpose. They must have a greater perspective on life which makes everything feel worthwhile. I discovered that perspective. My perspective. It always irritated me when people would ask “What do you want to go to school for?” Not only did it stress me out because I didn’t know, but it made me think How do you even know I want to go to college? As I thought about the appointment with my psychiatrist, I thought about the idea of college too. What made me happy? What did I love to do? I always thought that sometime I would find something that I loved doing. The problem was that I had been doing it. I just had to look at the greater picture and realize it. My passion had always been doing my hair. Adding red tints, and new bleached out blondes and auburns, cutting it, styling it, everything. The fresh smell of hair dye would bring pleasure to me every time it infused the bathroom. The stains on my hands never bothered me, but somehow made me feel like I had done something worthwhile. I had overlooked the fact that I loved hair coloring that it just seemed like an ordinary routine. I didn’t have to give it much thought when I colored my hair. I simply just did it. It may sound weird but as soon as I actually realized this, it gave me a great sense of relief. I could go to school for cosmetology! Awkwardly, everything suddenly made sense. Although cosmetologists don’t always make the greatest money, I don’t care. I would rather do something I absolutely love doing and barely making anything rather than making a lot of money while suffering. Over the past month or so I’ve realized that in order to be unconditionally happy, you must find your motivation. Something to look forward to. Find the one thing that makes you feel like there’s a reason why you’re doing the things that you are. Otherwise, everything else seems like a complete waste of time. With a reason and a purpose in life, not everything will feel pointless. There’s obviously not a reason for absolutely everything that happens each minute of every day, but it becomes clear that there is a point to living, there’s a point to being happy. You just have to figure it out for yourself. The beginning is just around the corner, first just start off by finding your purpose. Then live for that purpose.

"new and reshaping" technology?

It is very difficult to step out of ourselves when we are so surrounded by the style and luxury in which we live. Many adults believe that children and teenagers have it so easy these days. They always say “we never had that as a child.” They constantly put us down and criticize us for what they created. Are we the ones who invented cell phones and television and computers? NO. It’s so irritating to hear their bullshit. They blame us for what THEY did and they do not realize it. They constantly complain that we don’t read enough or that we do not walk anywhere now a days, yet they came up with the idea of electronics and cars. Some people honestly need to realize that teenagers and children did not give themselves the lives they live. If adults want us to read books so much then why are they thinking about getting rid of libraries and just having every book on the internet? What is wrong with society? All the “wisest” people aren’t always as smart as they think, are they? Adults make just as many mistakes as teenagers do if you really think about it. They may have more experience with things but at the same time they don’t. They’re living in a different time period than the one modern teenagers are living. Adults may have gone through similar situations but time has changed and reactions to certain things are different. Everything isn’t as simple as it may have once been. Adults formed the way life is now led, they were and are the influence and direction.I believe that, for anyone, giving up the use of anything we are immune to is hard. People use cell phones and computers because everyone else does. People just want to stay connected with each other. Now that we have that “connection” we don’t want to get rid of it. People want to make things easier for themselves so they use technology. It’s contradicting because technology just makes everything that much more complex.