Everything feels so right.. Maybe I'm just crazy.. but who cares, I'm happy. No one has made me feel this way in a long time. Just being around him gives me crazy feelings inside. Little explosions of happiness. It makes me want to cry tears of joy every time. I don't have to think about it. Nothing's forced, the way it should be. It is what it is and it just is. I know that when I'm not with him I wish I was but at the same time I'm happy either way because I get to look forward to seeing him again. He's one of my best friends and he's always there. Even when he's not, he is, it's perfect. No more too much of this and too much of that. Things are wonderful and I can't wait to see this develop. It's like taking photographs and anticipating to finish the role of film just so you can see the final results. The negatives are the positives.
For a little while I was hesitant and maybe even skeptical because I felt like I needed to see him more than I do. I don't. Things will be healthier and more exciting if I don't. The two things I need most: health and excitement. And trust me, it sure as hell is fucking excitement.
I get to be me, working and focusing on me, while at the same time get to see this going and becoming something so utterly wonderful.
I guess waiting and having hope is worth it. There were so many times where I've said "It's never going to happen" and "What am I doing?" But you know, when you least expect it, the most outstanding things can happen. Honestly, I'm still in shock but I'm accepting it and it feels so great. Actually getting what you've always wanted is the most exciting and satisfying feeling. I would honestly, not that I could ever move on from this, wait forever. Even though it's happened, I would still wait. He's just worth it. Always has been and always will be. Who knows why, maybe for every reason but sometimes you can't help your feelings let alone understand them.
Those three little words have never meant so much. Especially coming from him. Every time he says it, I get this super strong gut feeling and I know he genuinely means it. This was definitely worth the wait. I never really understood love but now I can feel it more than I ever had before. Love is not forced. It is what it is. It's just there whether you think about it or not for the most unexplainable reasons.
